Certain myths about marriage can be dangerous to couples in Minnesota if they believe them. For example, couples may believe that their marriage is in trouble if they have arguments, but according to the marriage counselor and researcher John Gottman, this is not the case. In fact, Gottman says that active listening, which involves couples using “I-statements” to talk about their feelings, does not work based on evidence.
Another myth about marriage is that married couples no longer have sex. In fact, married people are more likely than single people to have sex. Some people may believe myths about what equality in marriage means. It does not mean that both spouses always give 50 percent of their time and attention to household chores and other aspects of the marriage. Instead, spouses tend to step up as needed with each one giving more at various times. Spouses who do feel they are overwhelmingly responsible for tasks within a marriage should talk to the other spouse about it.
Finally, people might think that their marriage is in trouble because of their personality flaws. However, since everyone is flawed, it is not the flaws themselves but how the couple handles them that affects the marriage.
When incompatibilities related to these and other issues arise and cannot be resolved, couples may decide to divorce. How this divorce will progress may vary a great deal depending on whether the couple has children, how many assets and debts they have and whether they can negotiate a divorce agreement. Even in divorces where there is animosity, it might be possible to reach a resolution through mediation without going to litigation. Where litigation is an adversarial process, mediation aims to find a mutually satisfying solution.