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Is Facebook keeping you from moving on after divorce?

If you are one of the millions who stay in touch with friends and family through social media, you may be facing a big challenge as you and your spouse work through your divorce. You may be used to changing your Facebook status several times a day, sharing photos of your latest success or posting memes that express your present emotions.

You may even feel it is within your rights to vent when things get stressful between you and your spouse. However, how far should you go? Is there a chance that your social media presence will do more harm than good?

Misusing social media

Psychologists are finding that couples relying on social media for emotional outlets during a divorce may damage their chances for a peaceful, amicable settlement. Not only that, but oversharing the intimate details of your marital struggles may create tension beyond what may already exist between you and your spouse. For example,

  • Friends and extended family may feel hurt by unkind things you post about your spouse.
  • Potential employers may read your bitter or angry rants.
  • Your children may see things you have said about their other parent.
  • Bragging about dates or new relationships may complicate your relationship with your former spouse.
  • Posting details about purchases or trips may affect alimony or child support rulings.
  • Details about parties or inappropriate behavior may damage your efforts for child custody in a Minnesota court.

You may think it's a good idea to continue posting what you want as long as you block your spouse. However, marriage counselors suggest that you maintain that contact with your former spouse, especially if you have children together. Blocking or unfriending someone is a serious blow these days, and if you have any desire of preserving a civil and agreeable relationship with your former spouse, remaining connected through Facebook is a good start.

On the other hand, spying on your ex through social media is not something counselors recommend. Spending time scrolling through pictures or lurking on the pages of your ex's new Facebook friends may be detrimental to your ability to move forward with your life. As difficult as it may seem, psychologists say an important step in moving ahead is letting go. The trick may be to avoid allowing your social media to become the roadblock in your path to a positive future.

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Marvin Law Office, L.L.C.

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