Looking back on the months or years spent in an unhappy marriage often provides an individual with greater insight into why a relationship was unhealthy and how they may have unknowingly condoned or contributed to its dysfunction. Minnesotans who are currently experiencing marital problems may be able to benefit from the experiences of others who chose to reclaim their lives, leave an unhappy marriage and file for divorce.
A marriage should raise an individual up, not tear them down. A relationship between spouses should be full of love, compassion, trust and respect. Spouses should work together to resolve marital conflict and communicate openly and honestly. If these statements don’t ring true, an individual would be wise to take a hard and realistic view of their relationship and marriage.
Yes, compromise is important in a marriage, but willingness to compromise must be shared by both spouses. Many a divorced wife and husband have looked back on their failed marriages only to realize they compromised and gave while their spouse stood their ground and took. This type of unbalance within a marriage can result in a spouse making decisions based solely on what he or she thinks a spouse wants.
As a result, a wife or husband may give in or make concessions in order to keep the peace and please a husband or wife. As this pattern continues, a spouse is likely to grow more and unhappy within the marriage as their self-confidence and self-esteem erodes while resentment grows. Eventually an unhappy spouse may have an affair to engage in other types of destructive behaviors in an attempt to rebel and escape the marriage.
Marriage is often described as being a union in which two lives join to become one. However, for many couples, a marriage is much happier and healthier when each spouse maintains a certain sense of autonomy and independence.
Source: The Huffington Post, “6 Things I Lost When I Was Married,” Barbara McNally, May 14, 2014