Anoka Divorce Law Blog

Minnesota parents who are considering a breakup may have been told the best parenting relationships are collaborative. Conflict between parents is a high source of stress for everyone involved. This is especially true for children who are already experiencing a major change in life and living arrangements. When there is a great deal of animosity between parents it is sometimes just not possible to have a collaborative co-parenting relationship. For these couples, the answer often comes from implementing a highly specific parallel parenting plan. The key for each method to work is parents putting their focus on the children involved rather than each other.

While collaborative parenting involves frequent and positive child-centered communication between the parents, parallel plans seek to limit communications as much as possible in order to avoid potential conflict. Parents must adopt a method of approved communication and keep those communications businesslike and focused strictly on logistics. Email is often the preferred method of communication but parents must commit to practicing good faith in checking and sending these messages as needed. Parents must learn to simply let go of efforts to control or be involved in whatever happens when children are with the other party. This can be a source or both stress and liberation for those involved.

"Birdnesting" is a name for a custody arrangement that some Minnesota parents may want to try. Birdnesting involves the parents keeping the family home and having the children live there full time while each parent lives there part time. Parents might rotate in and out of a small apartment when they are not in the family home. Usually, parents use birdnesting to give their children more stability during or after divorce.

However, some conditions must be in place for this arrangement to be successful. Parents need to be able to get along very well. Experts also advise a short-term arrangement of no more than three to six months. This may be long enough to get to the end of a school year but not so long that children start to think their parents may reconcile. Sharing space can also create volatile situations for parents even if their relationship is amicable, so it is best to limit the duration of the arrangement.

When people in Minnesota get a divorce, they may be prone to making a number of financial mistakes. Some of those errors could happen because of a lack of familiarity with tax law. For example, they may try to liquidate some assets to pay debts, but there could be a significant tax attached to that liquidation.

Another tax-related error is failing to get a qualified domestic relations order in order to take a distribution from a 401(k) if it must be divided as part of the divorce agreement. Without this and an IRA to roll the distribution into, there could be significant penalties and taxes. On the other hand, people should be aware that for divorces finalized after the end of 2018, alimony will no longer be tax-payable or tax-deductible. According to experts, this is likely to lead to less money for both recipient and payer.

You have decided to file for divorce, and the move has sparked a range of emotions within you. Although you look forward to breaking free from the other party, you worry about how you and your future ex will handle the custody of your children.

In Minnesota, you could have joint custody with the other parent or gain sole custody of the children, where custody is awarded to you alone. Here is a glimpse at what sole custody in particular involves.